If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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