i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
