i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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