is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
