Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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