he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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