I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
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