Well apparently he's into motor boating.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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