I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
