You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
