I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize