the day after is always just damage control
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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