i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
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