he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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