i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
