I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Randomize
