YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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