how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
