yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
