I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
