I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
