Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Randomize
