my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
When are your genitals available?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
