Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Randomize
