Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Randomize
