and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
