OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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