WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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