did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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