It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
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