I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I want to be your penis for a week.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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