found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize