why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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