White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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