i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
