I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
