awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
