he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
