I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
