Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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