Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
