Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
