What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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