I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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