My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Randomize
