Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
