I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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