she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize