Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize