Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
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