Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize