lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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