What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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