Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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