i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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