Me too!
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I love you. Go after that dick
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
