I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
