You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
We need a shit load of segways right now
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize