dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Randomize
